It happened so suddenly. And so unexpectedly. My daughter’s
first heart break. Four and a half years old. She just found out that her very
(new) best friend in the whole world had to go back to Texas. Our neighbors’ niece
was staying with them for an extended time. She and Lovey made fast friends.
They played well together and were two pees in a pod. KK was much more adventurous
than Lovey which complimented her quiet nature perfectly. Lovey loved KK from
day one. Then the unexpected, KK told Lovey that she lived in Texas and she was
going back in a few days. Lovey protested. “You can stay here with your Padan!
You can live here and we can play together every day! Don’t go to Texas!” She
was sad and mad and tried everything she could think of to stop this tragedy.
It was so hard to see her in so much pain. I suggested the girls draw each
other a picture so that they could have a special reminder of the fun they had
together. I also took a picture of them holding their drawings so that we could
send the photo to KK in Texas. As KK left our house that day to return home to
Texas, my daughter’s heart broke. She became overwhelmed with sadness and ran
to her room in a puddle of tears. I went to her and she could not even speak,
only whimpers then sobs were heard. She was sitting on her bed, holding the
drawing from her beloved friend. Tears streaming. I tried to hold her. She
wanted to be alone. It was so hard to let her go. I wanted to hold her in my
arms, to tell her it was ok. That was not what she needed. She needed to feel
this. I quietly backed out of her room, only going to check if she needed me
when I heard her whimpers fade. Even then, she didn’t want me to hold her. She
was dealing with her first heartbreak and she didn’t want her momma. As hard as
it was, I wanted her to have the space she needed to work through her feelings.
She emerged from her room holding the drawing and asked if we could find a special
place on her shelf for her most beloved drawing. I wrote this poem while
reflecting on her heartbreak and her deep feelings. For she is a deep feeler.
Your heart is broken
Alone you sit
Tears falling
I wish you would let me go to you
Hold you
Tears tears
Tears are on my face
Why do these tears come out of my eyes
Take these tears away
Put my tears back
I want my tears
I want to dry your eyes
To make the tears stop
Your body fighting against you
I want to stop the pain
I want to hold you
Please let me hold you
Sigh
Breathe
Peace
Peace
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